she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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