He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
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Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
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how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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