How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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