Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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