i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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