my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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