I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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