if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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