You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize