He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Your cock deserves a montage
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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