sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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