you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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