Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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