you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize