I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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