he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize