8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
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Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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