I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
