I got chris browned last night
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize