tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize