I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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