Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize