if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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