I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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