idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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