I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you never un-have a 4some
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