there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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