found the other keg... it's in the tree
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize