And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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