I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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