i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize