it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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