The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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