Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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