VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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