so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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