I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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