I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
its liver damage thursday
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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