sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize