You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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