I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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