We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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