You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize