Do you still have your period?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize