I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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