Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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