New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize