I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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