I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize