a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
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