I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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