i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize