i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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